


Heavy and the Tree

by Dodo



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Drugs, Other, Tree Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 04:56:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3755260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dodo/pseuds/Dodo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>an unfortunate story involving one man’s lust for a tree. Australium does magical things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heavy and the Tree

**Author's Note:**

> this is an adaptation from my rp heavy that was in a stable relationship with a tree, it was a dare from a friend
> 
> not beta'ed.

There had been some interesting things happening on the island BLU Heavy had watched as electricians swarmed the main grid of the BLU base. He had been interested at first but after realizing they were just installing breakers and removing respawn circuits his interest waned; plus one of the engineers was already on site being overbearing and asking too many questions. Last thing Heavy needed was to be roped in as muscle to back up his team mates questions against the standard employees.

He knew the BLU Engineer meant well, but the man had a funny accent and a strange way of showing compassion? He assumed it was compassion that had been misdirected, probably from all that school. Possibly also from smoking with the Sniper too much, that sort of thing tended to make the mind dull, no matter what those two said.

Heavy dropped off his junk in a shed and wandered around the island. He had seen some pretty strange stuff. Just yesterday Babba Yagga had visited the base with several plants; he definitely saw her mortar and pestle as she flew away. It was not a hallucination, he learned quickly not to take the up the BLU Sniper’s smoking habits. The last doobie had him in the medic’s bay with the man’s hand up his ass, his anus clenched no would do no good to think of that.

Heavy cleared his mind by inspecting the new plants, as there were a bit of a mystery to him. He had investigate most of the trees, he'd seen Babba Yagga plant a tree dance around it shaking some gold like sand at it and then as she left the various trees would rapidly grow.

He of course had messed with the Holly tree she had planted near the BLU base. He rubbed his belly and regretted eating the leaves of the tree; it was an undesired effect that the leaves gave him. Perhaps it had been stupid to eat the leaves off a plant in the first place.

He stopped at the shore of the lake, ever since he'd died in it, the appeal of swimming had vanished. Respawn had picked him up and had come too with a mouthful of lake water which he choked on then later he developed a horrible sinus headache. It had been stupid anyways looking for a tentaSpy those things didn't exist. Heavy turned from the lake and wander closer to the RED base.

Pretty sure that no one would be awake at 4 in the morning, or much less fully operational. He'd heard there were chickens on the RED side so he was looking for one, preferably a hen so he could steal it and have it as a pet with benefits.

He stopped and his gaze fell on a strange tree, he walked around it. Running his hand on the bark till he stopped at a groove. He took a deep breath in and exhaled on the groove, excitement welled up. Heavy placed his other hand on the other side of the groove and closed his eyes. The tree had a butt, a nice firm butt and within the butt was something akin to a vagina. His pulse quickened, it excited him in ways. That he hadn't felt before, strange.

He tilted his head towards the tree, resting his head on the crack and muttered mostly to himself about his good fortune. He looked around before getting closer to the crack and buried his face in it.

There was soft moss growing in the crack if felt nice on his face, he stood there breathing slowly. He’d already made up his mind as soon as he saw the butt on the tree. He knew it was socially unacceptable though, but that made the idea tantalizing.

He undid his belt while muttering sweet nothings to the tree praising it for its lovely crevice. He did one last check before he dropped his pants and underwear. The idea had made him rather hard so he really didn't need to prepare himself. He rubbed the tip of his cock on the rough bark on the outside of the crack; He hands braced him up against the tree bark.  
He pulled back panting, unsure why he’d never thought of this before, it hurt so good. Though he was careful he didn't want any splinters. He tilted his hips up and rubbed his head up against the bark a few more times. The precum was collecting at the top he pulled back and ran a hand down his dick spreading the precum down the shaft.

Heavy opened his mouth to speak great compliments to the tree, though he'd reverted to his native language Russian. He carefully pushed his cock into the crack, the soft moss tickled up against his loins. He chuckled to himself amused that he was ticklish down there. It was a snug fit, soft and moist. He found himself thinking that the combination of tree butt with vagina inside as the most pleasing concept.

Slow shallow thrusts into the crevice till Heavy felt he could no longer keep such a slow pace up. He started to buck into the crack of the tree grunting as the palms of his hands moved along the trunk. Some of the moss had been rubbed off and the rough bark was biting upon his cock which made him thrust harder.

He came forcefully, probably due to being celibate for four months, and sexually frustrated most of that time; his teammates were all unappealing. Also that many of them were skinny stick men, added to his complication of getting off, there was nothing he desired sexually from them. The desire for a nice thick man or woman to just spontaneously appear; had waned after a brief foray with the BLU Pyro whom had been transferred to another base four months ago.

He arched backwards toes curling as he came with a loud bellow. He leaned up against the tree as he let his orgasm pass. He gingerly pulled out his dick from the crack, cleaned it, and then tucked himself away. He slid down the side of the tree and sat in its roots before resting his head on the trunk.

He must have dozed off for it light outside the sun was at zenith and beamed down cheerily at him. Heavy struggled to put his pants on, his legs still felt like putty thought it was probably due to the position he slept in. He sighed and lifted up his shirt he was sweating, it was too hot to be in direct sun. He removed his shirt stood up and moved into the shade.

As he moved around the tree something smacked him in the head. He looked up and found a sausage on a vine. He looked up suspiciously first a tree with a butt and now suspended sausages? Someone must have read his mind? How did they know he was hungry? He frowned the sausage looked like it was growing from the tree.

It was pretty small, he rubbed his head there hadn't been any sausage before he’d sexed up the tree. Maybe he’d pollinated it? He knew next to nothing about trees but that idea sounded plausible. 

“Are these for me?”  
He asked the tree, it was of course the logical next step. The sausage bounced up and down after he spoke, he grabbed it and it popped right off the vine. The vine swung up against his cheek as if it was caressing him. The wind blew the vine away.

“So these are our babies, they grow bigger I bet.”

BLU Heavy mused as the tree seemed to rustle it was probably the wind, but he kind of liked the idea of having tree that could understand him; a tree that made sausages from sex, double plus. He grinned as he picked a few more sausages and placed them in his shirt.

“I’ll be back, and we can spend more time together. Maybe I’ll climb up in your branches. There could be something up there that I can see to.”

He spoke jovially branch sex had just been put on his bucket list. He kissed the trunk and headed off to the BLU base with his shirt full of sausage. Smelling of sweat, sex, and the spicy meats that he had hanging from his back. He was blissful and he doubt that anything could rain on his parade know that he knew he had a potential lover, even if it was a tree.

Now all he needed was some quiet time in the kitchen with his sausages, to satisfy his hunger. He was anticipating the flavor too, they smelt like genuine sausage. He headed straight to the kitchen of the BLU base humming loudly.

END


End file.
